Emotion-Focused Couple Therapy

Emotion Focused couple therapy is an experiential therapy that values each person's unique experience whilst encouraging the couple to engage in a range of experiential processes both in and out of session.

Emotion Focused Couple Therapy is based on the collaborative work of contemporary emotion theorist and researcher, Les Greenberg, with Rhonda Goldman; and on the collaboration between Les Greenberg and Susan Johnson. This approach is hailed as transformative and in my experience delivers transformation in the relationship between intimate partners. However, it has not been the couple therapy of choice for most Australian couple training organizations, so few therapists work with this approach.

The authors of this model argue that because emotion is a major motivational force in relationships, it is at the basis of how we respond in relationship. Emotion fuels conflicts and the avoidance of it affects intimacy. However, it is emotion that we have the most trouble either accessing, expressing to our partner or perhaps regulating within the relationship. Instead of expressing our underlying emotion and needs, we engage in numerous ways of trying to be met by our partner. Examples of these behaviours are withdrawing, lashing out, engaging in arguments that go around in circles or blaming and criticising, all of which lead to alienation and lack of the intimacy we so deeply desire.

Strangely, most therapies, whilst they talk 'about' emotion, do not favour working with 'hot' emotions in session.

During Emotion Focused Therapy for couples, partners learn to understand, access, express and welcome each other's emotional life. This deepens intimacy and results in a closer and more alive relationship. During Emotionally Focused therapy for couples, partners learn to recognise their own and their partner's unmet needs from childhood and support their partner both to self-soothe and to ask for needs to be met. Couples learn to better understand the cycles of conflict they engage in and to understand the driving emotional needs and forces behind these conflicts.

If you are looking for a dynamic therapy that does transform your relationship, then Emotionally-Focused couple therapy could be for you.

Judith has taught seminars and workshops on Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy for Latrobe University in both the Masters degrees in Counselling & Human Services and the Masters degree in Relationship Counselling as well as for numerous church-based and community-based counselling organizations.

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